New ways to release tension

My way of life is karate. It is who I am. It has led me into teaching kids to swim, apparently I am quite funny. It led me to love to a girl who is more special than she realises. 

I love karate, it shapes who I am and what I do. However everyone still needs an outlet, to release tension. In karate I am dedicated to being the best I can be, to go through this journey as a warrior. That when life gets hard I just train harder.

Recently I wanted to evolve my karate and fighting style. I started doing bodybalance classes. I didn’t want to go, my mateat work roped me into it, I didn’t want to do a naff class surrounded by ladies whilst making a fool of myself. It has elements of tai chi as a warm-up, yoga stretches, pilates to work the core, balance work to help you to be better on one leg, and meditation at the end.

First, it was the first time that meditation has consistently worked for me, first time I have been able to mentally relax. Second, It’s working on all areas I need to for martial arts, but usually ignore as all I want to do is get stronger and fight more. I noticed in less than four weeks a massive difference in my sparring, I felt looser and more relaxed, and my kicking has become not only sharper but high kicks feel so much more natural.

I couldn’t believe how much one class has improved a lot of aspects of my karate. When I have tried yoga, I have gone two months with it only just starting to work, one week or day off and it’s back to square one.

I have been really stressed recently, my mind has been in turmoil. And because of all these stresses I decided to go surfing last Saturday. I rode the first wave I tried (I first learnt 20months ago with a karate friend (surprise, surprise) where for a week we learnt to surf, karate on the beach, drink and repeat.

I was expecting myself to be clumsy, but I seem to have improved and I felt free. Free from all constraints and the different masks that I have to wear, free to be just me. Joy filled my mind, I got excited but I also found peace, It’s a perfect form of meditation. It released so much tension in me, that I was able to deal my problems as I should. This feeling lasted for days. I may have found my hobby away from not only life, but also karate.

Yesterday another mate (a former karateka, go figure)roped me into reading out one of my poems at a poetry gig. He was performing and wanted my support. I was nervous, and I couldn’t believe that I have done it. To express my inner feelings and emotions in front of others, I normal bare it all inside like a man feels like he should. I felt liberated.

I am being encouraged to write again, I need new outlets in my life. I feel like I am trying to find out, who I am all over again.

I’ve hid it for so long, but I am the creative type. I let fear stop me, as I often do. It’s strange, on how all the stress the last few months, but specifically the last few weeks has fostered this new growth within me.     I wouldn’t of gone to this bodybalance classes, I wouldn’t of gone surfing on my own, I wouldn’t of performed in front of people before. I wouldn’t of had the courage.

My way is of karate, but outside of my way, I wonder where my journey lies.

A name in the wind.

Even when silence surrounds me,
When the winds stop blowing,
When the trees stop whistling,
I can still hear your name,
When you walk across a summers day,
In a flowing summers dress,
I hear a drum beat pounding louder and louder,
The whole world dimmers a bit,
But you shine upon in its eternal darkness,
I realise that it is my heart that is beating at the sight of you,
Those who know me know that I am shy by nature, but once I get to know you I can be loud and over the top,
I would never show signs of affection in public,
But with you I don’t care what other people think,
I just want to be with you,
Before I close my eyes at night I imagine I hold your hand,
With you snuggling against my chest.

Hand in hand

Hand in hand,
Side by side,
A lady and a gentleman,
A geek and an eccentric,
Looking lovingly into each others eyes,
The world no longer felt so lonely,
Desire filled each others eyes,
As they kissed,
Their lips,
Her neck,
The scenery was beautiful,
Lush trees and a sparkling river,
But they barely noticed,
A peace and tranquility filled them with each kiss,
Gentle and tender,
Passionate with desire,
The mind felt elated like it was meditating,
Sat in a restaurant,
Looking into each others eyes,
A sense of need,
To hold her hand,
To kiss her,
Filled his mind,
His shyness evaporated within a moment,
He simply needed to be with her,
For he could be himself,
As the night drew in,
Their kisses were like electricity to the touch,
Fireworks literally exploded above their heads,
It was a surreal moment,
A tear filled his eye,
As he had to say goodnight to her,
Looking forward to when they meet again.

Anticipation friend or foe for the soul

Can you feel it?

A sense of energy coursing through the air,

The finger tips are tingling,

You bounce around with excitement,

Your mind is abuzz with the thoughts of destiny and time to prove one self,

At times it leaves you feeling drained,

Your mind constantly thinking of this one moment,

Depletes the batteries,

You feel weary,

Can you go on?

But as it draws closer the anticipation builds and builds,

Engulfing your being,

The question is will this drain you,

Unable to fight on,

Or become the drum roll for the beast,

That is tearing at the bars wanting to be free,

As it ferociously tackles life with its bare hands,

Driving you on towards destiny.

Dawn of Change

The dawn of a new era,

Or a rehash of the old,

Time for growth,

Or time for despair,

Period of excitement and challenge,

Or a decade of suffering,

What is the difference between the two,

It is all within your mind,

Within yourself,

If you don’t believe then you won’t grow,

If your perspective is dark so will be your life,

Look at each sun rise as a chance for a new lease on life,

The only one holding you back is you,

Challenge that side of you,

The lightsaber flickers red to green,

Change only happens when you except yourself,

And know that fate is within your hands.

 

A storm is brewing within thyself

I feel the energy engulfing thy spirit,

Like a gentle breeze swirling around my hands,

Pulsating through my limbs,

I can barely keep my feet upon the ground,

Nerves are on fire,

I feel restless in the air,

The rush of cold icy water cascading down my showers,

Becomes the rising steam,

A mist in the air,

Consuming the flesh but not the spirit,

As the mist slowly dissipates,

The mind becomes clear,

My body becomes sharp,

The will is focused,

The sense of anticipation lingers in every breath I take,

No longer is my judgement clouded by doubt,

But is reinforced by desire,

By the face of the challenge,

It slowly consumes my every thought,

No longer a weakness but now a strength,

I see the truth marching closer,

Closer as I am prepared for war,

For sacrifice and for love,

No longer in the shadows,

I will face the mountain,

I have two choices,

Lie upon its jagged feet of despair and failure,

Or struggle and fight my way to the top,

To earn my own name.

Back to the wall

Inch by inch the pain worsens,
Madness seeps into the soul,
Breath by breath is taken away,
It is harder to focus,
Leaking away like raindrops from the clouds,
Humour arises at the most peculiar of times,
It is a different form of madness,
One that you control to fight the pain the fear,
But that wave of pain and fear slowly break down the walls of thyself,
Beaten down to a pulp,
A storm brews from within,
Like a switch goes off in thy head,
Pain and fear are no longer weaknesses but form into a strength,
Driving you into an energised frenzy,
The spirit is alive,
No longer cowering,
No longer laughing with madness,
The spirt is in defiance of the pain,
It calls forth a challenge,
The shackles that we wear every day slowly break,
Defiance is in thy nature,
The greatest source of human resolve.