A New Dawn

When darkness surrounds you,

Like it’s all you know,

Remember even in the darkest part of the night,

When the blackness spreads,

And fear encompasses your heart,

Remember,

You are not alone,

Just look up into that blackness,

You’ll see billions of billions of stars,

Shining high in the sky,

Watching down over you,

There is always light in the heart of darkness,

You are not truly alone,

You have no need to fear,

Remember that the night doesn’t last forever,

A new dawn will come,

The sun our closest star,

And our closest friend,

Will be willing to help guide your way,

The new dawn will rise slowly in the sky,

Brightening the world,

Washing away the darkness for the day,

Bringing beauty and hope,

All you have to do is let it rinse the blackness away,

And even though it will only last for a day,

Don’t be sad to see the sunset,

For without the darkness,

You can’t appreciate the light,

And even though the darkness will come,

There will always be a new dawn,

There will always be hope,

Let today become your new dawn

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Let the light in

When the sun is high,

It’s warm light gently caressing your skin,

Don’t shun the light,

And hide in the dark,

Embrace it,

Let it’s brilliant orange light,

Seep through your skin,

Deep into your bones,

Relaxing your muscles,

Let it open your heart,

Even if just for a moment,

The same light it is willing to give to us all,

When there is light there is hope,

When there is hope,

Peace can be found,

Let the light feel you with peace,

Let the light make you smile,

And share that light with others, 

So that one day we can all banish that same darkness we hold dear,

Because it holds us hostage,

Remember we are children of the light,

Let the light in

Adieu my Love, Adieu

They say eyes are windows to the soul,

I found the most beautiful soul of them all, 

Heart so pure,

Yet shrouded in darkness,

I thought my burning bright light could heal you,

I thought our love was meant forever,

I was your shield,

And you gave me peace,

Our souls fitting like two halves,

I had finally found my paradise, 

It was all so magical,

With you by my side I could face anything, 

You came to my crowning moment, dragged your family across the land just to support me,

They welcomed me with open arms,

You were my paradise

We have been through so much,

The great storms of life, battling against the indomitable ocean,

Wave after wave crashing over us,

I lifted you up in your darkness moment,

Prepared to sacrifice myself for you to survive,

My love for you is so strong,

My connection to you so pure,

We survived for a time,

Drifting on that great blue ocean,

Finding small islands of paradise,

I lived for those small moments,

They were all I needed,

When you let me in,

There was nothing on this world compared to that kind of joy,

Alas one day you needed to visit a paradise on your own, 

We reconnected so strongly,

Our love so pure,

I knew that you were coming back,

But our love would stay out on the horizon,

I realise for you to save yourself,

I had no choice but to let you go,

Perhaps one day, 

When you are whole,

And the tide of time heals all wounds,

We can journey to the horizon to find our love,

Adieu my love, 

Adieu,

It’s time we both grow stronger,

Adieu my friend,

Adieu,

I will always care for you,

Adieu,

Adieu,

Maybe one day we will find each other again.

A journey through shadows

Circled by darkness,
The birds of shadow are hunting,
Waiting for my fall,
Scavengers of life,
Waiting to take me piece by piece,
The darkness spreads,
I no longer know what light is,
Despair pain and madness are all the same,
A vicious cycle that never seems to end,
I’m looking for someone to save me,
Why will no one save me,
Lost alone,
Bewildered,
I reach the abyss waiting for the shadows,
No one is there to save me,
I am alone,
I realise as I fall,
Wind rushing against my face,
Only one person can save me,
That is me the shadows,
I am the one circling,
Hunting myself down,
It is not weakness,
But fear of nothingness,
Of never being more than I am,
Embracing the darkness,
I no longer run away from its pull,
But neither do I let it drag me down,
Of the deep waters of the lagoon,
I embrace who I truly am,
And fight,
Fight against the current,
My arms spread,
Growing longer and wider,
Wings are forming,
Sheer will is my power,
Pulling against despair,
Shoulders burn with intensity,
As I fight to fly high above the sky,
The shadows pounce on my flesh,
I growl,
A beast is released from within my chest,
I fight to be amongst the skies,
To the one I truly I am,
To earn the white feathers,
With the black stripe around my waist,
Then you show up,
Showing me who I could be,
The shadows have gone,
I no longer fight,
I am happy for a time,
I learn to be more than fight over fear,
Laughter is in my heart,
But then you change,
Still beautiful but with a colder edge,
You want me to be something else,
Someone else,
You make me choose between those I love,
And you,
I am nearly torn in two,
Who am I,
I no longer know,
I never felt pain as much,
Since the fall of Man,
My soul has grown,
I love me for me now,
First time since forever,
How dare anyone try to turn me into a shell of the being I am,
I am proud of who I am,
Despite my flaws,
I remember the shadows,
Darkness,
Pain the beast from within,
I shall not fall,
But embrace who I am,
And battle the eternal battle,
Of life versus fear,
I will confront my  fear,
Amongst the line of shadows facing me,
Their faces cold with no emotions,
Ready to destroy me,
I am my strength,
My will, will be strong,
But I won’t forget the light that you showed me,
I now live instead of hiding from the shadows.

Living beyond Shodan

Shodan was a huge achievement for me, a life goal achieved an obsession of five and half years built up into one moment. I proved something to myself that day, I faced my fears and even shed a few tears.

My best friend was worried about me, he knew that I need something to focus on and without that focus or drive I could get very down. He was right and is one of the few people to know me so well.

Two or three  weeks before my grading I met my girlfriend, an elegant beautiful woman with a quirky side I love. I was worried that it could distract me from my grading, it couldn’t be further from the truth.

I found before during and afterwards I had some to look forward to other than karate, something that was special, it gave me a new strength to get through my grading.

I became more normal in that karate wasn’t the only thing to govern my life, I never went through that big depression I should of gone through knowing what my personality is like. But because of her I have not be as happy since I was in China.

I didn’t realise how obsessed and focused I was until I was chatting to a mate at work today, apparently all I talked about leading up to my grading was training, resting, training not wanting to rest but should, training. Some of the workouts he told me I did were intense, at least I know I trained harder than I realised I did for my grading. It does feel nice to be more relaxed, enjoy my training and enjoy living more.

Karate is a large part of my life, I have to do a bit of training in it a day to feel sane, but I now understand why some karateka struggle with family and karate. Example my mate would rather spend his whole Saturday with his family, which I understood, but I would think you could see them anytime training is special. Now I realise how wrong I was, and must make sure I fit both in to my life.

My girlfriend gives me a reason to believe in a better future, the world is a brighter and more beautiful place with her by my side.

The fire weeper (character)- guardian of the Phoenix Goddess

The fire weeper is both beautiful and deadly,

To some it’s a curse,

But to her it’s a blessing,

A fable gift from the Goddess of Fire herself,

The Graceful Phoenix who is Equal to the Great Black Dragon,

The fire weeper can control fire by the will of her hands,

And blow the deadliest kiss of them all,

A gentle soul she uses her gifts for protecting,

Her gifts for love,

A warm fire at night,

A wall of fire to protect those dear to her,

But when the life of her unborn Child is threatened,

The son of Kao’s,

Then she becomes as deadly as a reaper,

Nothing to is great for the love of her unborn son,

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust,

No one will harm her son tonight,

The greatest love of them all,

Is the source of her strength,

Fuelling the passions gifted her by the graceful goddess herself,

This all started when a Prophecy was made of who Kao’s could grow up to be,

Who would think that an unborn child could have so much potential,

She doesn’t care how great he is meant to be,

She just loves him with all her heart

When you smile at me

When I see your face

A smile spreads across mine

A gentle breeze

That calms the raging storm

Of my mind, body and soul

Pacifying the great beast from within

That roars with frustration

Forever alone

Stalking and hunting

It is what nature intended

This lonely path that I walk

But all that changed

When I saw you smile

Smile at me